I’m fat, but not pregnant

I’ve been gaining weight even before my boyfriend and I started dating. So I’m used to receiving compliments like, “You’re fat.” or “You’re getting fatter.” I don’t mind being called fat or chubby. I’m even taking it as a compliment. And to show my optimistic view about this topic, I wrote something about it on Thought Catalog (This Is What You Should Consider When Someone Calls You Fat).


Let us not equate “You’re so fat” to “You’re so ugly.” Because they’re not equal. “You’re fat” simply means you’ve gained some weight, but it doesn’t make you less of a person. It doesn’t make you less beautiful.


As I have said in that article, there is nothing wrong about being fat. And we should not equate being fat to being ugly. Because that is not right.


On the other hand, I don’t think it is appropriate to say to a woman that she is pregnant only because she is getting bigger because of all the carbs she enjoys eating. (Unless of course she is, but if she’s not, then it would be so awkward.)


Yes, I’m fat, but not pregnant.


After we announced our engagement to our family and to some of our close friends, some of them thought, we are getting married because I got knocked up.


The first time I got this comment, I got upset and a bit offended. But of course, I don’t want things to get awkward, so I just directly said no, and even invited the person to the wedding. Then, it became a pattern. Up until now, everytime I tell people I’m getting married this year, I get the usual response.


I cannot deny the fact that I’m gaining weight, and always exhausted. But I don’t think it is because there’s a bun in the oven. I’m just eating unhealthy food. I stopped working out. And I’m not getting enough  sleep. And this is all because I’m tired and too stressed with all the wedding preparations and the workload I have right now.


It’s really crazy and overwhelming.


Everything just keeps coming on my plate to the point that I have to decline some work because I know I won’t be able to handle them anymore. And besides, I want time for myself. I want to go back to my usual workout to help me free my mind and focus on the most important things. (Ahem… reading… writing… watching auhmmm…)


Today, when getting pregnant and getting married has become a buy one take one thing, it has become harder to defend yourself from the unsolicited judgements of other people.


I’m not saying that getting pregnant is a bad thing. I want to get pregnant too, in the right time, with the person I love. And there’s nothing wrong with getting pregnant and getting married afterwards. It is right, because you are taking responsibility for your actions, and of course, because you love the person. But if it’s not, that’s a different story.


However, we should not always judge people based on what we see. If they want to get married so soon, that is their decision and whatever their reason is, that is between the couple. If they want to get pregnant before getting married, that is the couple’s choice and we have to respect it also.


A lot of people are telling me to go on a diet for my wedding. I won’t. I won’t starve myself or deprived myself of good food (unhealthy or not) just because I decided to get married. If I look fat on my wedding dress, that’s fine. I worked really hard on this body, so I’ll flaunt it. Hahah!


I can’t expect people to change the way they think about certain situations. They think that way perhaps because there’s prior history or pattern or “trend” that brought them to that perspective. The least thing that I can do now is do my usual thing and ignore them. Besides, their judgements and opinion about me doesn’t make me less of a person.  


I’m a fat bride-to-be, but I’m happy.


I’m not pregnant, and I’m still happy.


But if I’m pregnant, I’ll be happier.



The fat soon-to-be Mrs. F


How about you, do you have the same story to share? Or did I say something wrong about this topic? I know I can’t get anyone to agree with me. We all have opinions. So share yours in the comments below! Thanks guys!


Yum yum yum yum yum… LOL


Photo source: https://www.hypervibe.com/au/blog/what-belly-type-do-you-have/



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